Let's talk about girls...later.

For future reference:

Insist on interpreting?
Dislike each other / compete?
flipping. crazy.

The Crazy.

stay tuned...

Ok NOW let's talk about boys.

THE NUMBER LINE THEORY.

In a nutshell, and in reference to the previous post, my original monologue / rant was about "nice guys." A friend of mine was ALWAYS complaining about how women don't really WANT "nice guys." About how HE is a "nice guy" and HE can't get a date to save his life! While we're solving mysteries tonight, let me put this out there and see what you think...

NOT being an Asshole DOESN'T make you a Nice Guy.

It's math folks, and you can't argue with math.

Check out the number line, go ahead. I'll wait while you recall your elementary school math textbook. The number line is a tool to help us visualize the progress of numbers from negative to positive numbers. The key piece is in the middle of this line.

NOT being a negative number doesn't automatically make you positive number. It makes you zero. Zero is boring. Important, surely! And boring.

This is not my theory, really, it comes up in other disciplines; philosophy and art for sure! Is the color black just the absence of other colors? Does the absence of virtue mean that one is full of vice? I'm just applying it to a practical matter. It takes EFFORT to move off of zero into positive numbers! I will say this; a woman will date a negative instead of a zero any day of the week. At least there will be something going on! AND, most women will choose a legitimate positive over a negative just as frequently.

~~~~~

Here's what's going on: I said goodbye today to a friend of mine, who, in my opinion, handled his leaving very poorly. AND, while it makes sense to assume that I don't have ~ perhaps ~ the most objective view about it, I don't have one friend (including my mother!) who doesn't want to punch him in the neck.

allright...THEY may not be so objective either...point taken.

But really, this event is just the catalyst to a larger realization. This event, and one that happened just prior to it. Here's the revelation: a lot of men are just flat out cowards. Now. I realize that for most of you, myself included, this ISN'T news.

"...but, Samantha," you might be saying, "you JUST said 'here's the revelation.' You JUST said it...by definition, it's news to you."

Fear not ~ I have not lost my sense of reason. Listen, for soon you will understand the rationale. It's NOT news in the oh-my-goodness-that's-brand-spankin'-new-information!-oh-my-stars! It IS, however, a revelation in the wait-that's-REALLY-true!-not-in-a-kinda-cute-'he's-not-that-into-you'-way.

Truly cowardly. They mean it! They would rather chew their own arm off than tell you anything that might be hurtful/awkward/lead to ANY sort of conversation where they may be cast as "The Bad Guy." That's ridiculous, gentlemen. I mean, really ridiculous. Why on EARTH are you sacrificing your own happiness and peace of mind to avoid saying things that need to be said.

and SINCE I'm speaking to you, here's a twist: You cannot have it both ways. You can NOT insist that you enjoy the chase, to stalk and prey on a weaker creature, and then be f*cking SCARED to TALK TO ME!! I'm calling an end to it, right now. Here. You are released. The truth is out now, you may as well enjoy it.

Because it isn't about the chase, is it? C'mon, you can admit it. It isn't. ADDITIONAL THEORY ALERT*** It's about wanting things on your own timeline. It's not about "the chase" at all, it's about getting what you want when you want it and not at ALL before. Clever fellows, you have all kinds of really bright people believing this "chase" nonsense...researchers, anthropologists, women. All believing that it's some sort of instinct in the reptilian part of your brain.

If it IS some instinct, then it's an instinct to want what you want when you want it! And who doesn't? We ALL have that toddler in there somewhere. It's a lovely idea.

But then won't you please own up to it? Please? It just goes to support the coward part that started the whole thing if you don't 'fess up.

I know that this doesn't apply to ALL men. At least, I'm choosing to believe that. I suppose the reptilian part of MY brain is saying, "Yesssss it doesssss...ssssome of them are jussssst over it." And if that's the case, well, good for you. At least you've gotten over it. Grown out of it. Whatever it is that happens.

With much love and respect to E.H., mine is always improv. Let the Rules of Improv guide you, children. Make Statements, kids, say the thing. It's better to say the thing.

...you too, ladies... After all, what are WE afraid of? They can't even SPEAK to us.





Phrases I think should go away:

Anything that is "text" that is crossing over to actual speech, i.e.: "o.m.g." This is to signify Oh My Go(d)/(sh), depending. Three words are not hard to say. What "omg" looks like is a guru who is meditating and has a cold.

"Do you want some fries with that?" as a way to express a lack of success. Some very successful folks start with a job in food service.

I have a silly little pipe dream that we'll be able to do away with "like" except in grammatically correct situations...and I recognize that it's just a dream...

Let's talk about boys.

Later. Let's talk about boys later. Because I am too flippin' angry and surprised right now. Here's a preview:

1.) BAS
2.) You don't get to have it both ways, gentlemen
3.) New twist on an old theme. VERY related to number 2.

Also, perhaps I will include my monologue/rant about "nice guys."

...later.

Let's talk about lakes.

Ok. Jaws is on HBO and since I don't usually have cable, or TV at all really, AND Jaws is actually quite old...I figure it's a sign to go ahead and confess about how I don't like lakes. At all.

It's mostly because you can't see what's underneath you. Who KNOWS what's waiting in the murk...

I DO! There are fish with teeth down there!! that's just a wrong thing any way you look at it, by the way. AND THENNNNNNNNNNNNN, they are just lurking.... waiting for the toes of unsuspecting people to be dangling, oh so nicely...

yish.

They are creepy and still and I don't like 'em.

Please don't have me deported. I've recently learned to play cribbage, that should count for something!



It's a freaking big shark, kids...

Let's talk about loving your job.

See post below.

Thank you, my job!!

If you don't love your job ~ start!! Either: 1.) Find something, anything, that you enjoy and LOVE that part OR, (especially if you can't find even ONE thing that you enjoy) 2.) find a new one.

I mean that.

Let's talk about a great day!

So here's something I do...travel for my job. I'm in an airplane a lot, and one of the things I like to do is look at the ground as we approach to land. The perspective from an airplane window is great because you get to see so much land at once. I try to take a minute to be grateful for the country in which I get to live. It works!

Here's my "perfect storm" that happened today:

I'm in Arizona because of my job. Today is Veterans Day. I had a break. I decided to go to Sedona from Surprise (yep!! That's the real name, isn't that great?!) via some back roads and it was beautiful. Just amazing ~ Arizona has desert and mountains and vistas that include pine trees AND red rock formations...I guess I hadn't really put all of that together. And even though it wasn't from the sky, I was able to once again be grateful for the land in which I get to live.

...also, I found a rock that someone had painted to look like a frog. THAT'S a good sign, for sure!

What is curious to me is that I seem to have to be travelling in order to have this sort of reflection. Why is that? I suppose you get used to what you have around you every day...I'm going to try to recognized the same level of appreciation when I'm at home.

It also happens with the people in my life. It's been brought to my attention that my tribe sees more of me when I'm travelling more frequently because I make an effort to see them when I AM home. This is a good thing for when I'm out of town, and there's no reason it should change when I'm at home for a bit.


Phrases I think should go away:

"I'm not sayin'..." well then don't.

"I know, right??!" It's just...enough already. Right??!


G'night folks.

Let's talk about fear.

Hi!

Here we are.

So, here's the thing...I have some things to talk about. WE can talk about them, or I can talk about them and you can read, or you can just let me talk to the empty room. They won't all be deep and dark, I promise. And chances are good that they won't all be interesting, either! Just a heads up... :)

That said, what about fear? Specifically, when fear goes awry. We have it for a reason, and that's just peachy and helpful, but it gets away from us and then it's not at ALL helpful. It doesn't have to be disasterous, but it can certainly be disruptive. It can keep us from exploring new adventure, from doing what's hard, from doing what's right. Necessary, even.

This is where Fail Big comes in to the picture. It's a concept I learned, and had the priviledge of passing on, in Improv. I think it speaks to a number of different kinds of fear and is a pretty good little encouragement mantra. Take the risk, do what scares you, say the thing (another Improv phrase) just SAY THE THING!! Jump.

I'm spending some time thinking about cowardice. It's not ready for discussion just yet, but I'm sure I'll put it out there.

A favorite quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson.

...whatever it (and the notion of God) means to you.

Phrases I think should go away:

"That's what I'm talkin' about." Or any variation thereof.

"Whatevs..." it's a whole word.

What is it about Ferris Bueller's Day Off that it has held up so well? Also, do we think that Cameron turned out ok? ...I hope so. "....let my Cameron goooooooo"

More later...